Category Archives: How to Make Your Mind Up

How to Make Your Mind Up

Day 2 – 30DBBB: 7 Reasons why you can’t make your mind up!

Have you ever wondered why we struggle to decide even about the little things?

Why asking your other half what he wants for dinner can turn into mission impossible, and why no matter how much we want something in life we just can’t seem to get from knowing what to do to get it, to actually taking the necessary action?

So why can’t we make our minds up?

From my research and talking to friends, colleagues, and like minded souls it seems there are several usual suspects, or common decision making demons:

1. We’ve got too many options:

And they aren’t all clean cut either. We’ve got a million more choices than our ancestors ever had and as a result we’re much less happy, and completely overwhelmed.

The decision between a new job with a huge hike in salary, a private pension and access to the company car vs one which has a reasonable salary a four day week and access to an on-site nursery may not be quite as straight forward as we’d initially think. There are so many more factors to take into consideration these days. And of course living in the relative luxury we do in the western world we’re quite literally spoiled for choice.

This of course means that the old hat tips and tricks of pro/con lists and flipping a coin just aren’t cutting it anymore.

2. We want it all or nothing:

We were raised to believe we could have it all and to take no prisoners in our pursuit to get it. As a consequence compromise has become a four letter word.

Why have we become so adverse to settling? And trust me I mean settling in the most positive sense. Finding peace and contentment with what we know to be right for us in our lives can never be a bad thing. And simply knowing when enough is good enough can be a giant leap forward in finding lasting satisfaction in life.

3. We don’t know how to prioritise our own needs:

We struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first. We’ve been bought up to consider it to be self centred and self serving but in reality this belief in fact leaves us less able and less effective in helping both ourselves and others.

Remember the aeroplane safety spiel you get before a flight, about placing your own oxygen mask BEFORE attempting to help anyone else? Well I’m thinking those guys have quite possibly got exactly the right idea!

It’s not in the slightest bit selfish to make a choice that directly benefits you if in the long term it ultimately benefits others too.

4. We’re scared of the consequences:

Whether it be the negative implications, or possibly and more often surprisingly so the positive ones, one of my all time favourite quotes by Marianne Williamson and used by Nelson Mandela illustrates my point much more eloquently than I ever could.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, but our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

5. We’re trying to do too much:

To do too much, to be too much for everyone and anyone when in reality we each have a unique and singular purpose in life and the more we focus on fulfilling that the happier we will all be.

Pareto’s Principle/the 80/20 rule states that 80% of our most valuable output comes from just 20% of our input. So what’s your 20%?

6. We don’t know how to ask for help:

As everybody else’s go to girl, cheering squad, accountability expert and agony aunt we’ve got so used to doing these things for everyone else that we’ve forgotten to take our turn and reap the same rewards.

7. We’ve got tunnel vision:

Seeing things from someone else’s perspective can be immensely enlightening and lead us to answers we would never had considered on our own.

As Einstein once said – “You can’t solve a problem on the same level at which it was created” Or in other words you’ve got less chance of finding a solution to a problem with the same mind that created it.

The point is to recognise your own favourite decision making delay, accept it for what it is, and find ways to take action in overcoming it.

Don’t make the mistake of dismissing the impact your own potential can have if only you were to let it – we are all more capable of greatness than we will ever know. And now is the time to pursue it!

Why not aim over the next week to notice your own decision making demons, and consider ways to push past procrastination paralysis and move forward to a more fulfilling future.And check back here later on in the week for some of my own hints and tips on how you can do that.

– What have you found to be your usual decision making delays? Have you found the magic wand to making your mind up with clarity, consistency and congruency? – I’d love to hear how your own meaningful decisions happen. Please comment below, get in touch at zoeg@chinurucoaching.com, follow me on Twitter @zoegoode, or friend me on Facebook.

Day 1 – 30 Days to Build A Better Blog

Well I’m playing catch up a little but I’m not going to let that stop me, so here goes!

The challenge for Day 1 of the 31Days to Build a Better Blog challenge is to write my elevator pitch.

A simple and succinct statement capable of conveying the core of what my business is all about, what it does and how it can help you if you’re a prospective client. Not much of a tall order right?

This is something I’ve struggled with on and off with for a while now, but I think I may well have cracked it lately.

My business platform is going to be based on what I’ve found from my research to be one of the biggest problems facing my target market right now – not knowing how to make your mind up, and finding the courage to get moving to doing the things that truly make your heart sing.

So here’s the latest draft I’m working with at the moment. Please feel free to let me know your first thoughts and impressions below. I’d really love to know what you think!!

Tag line:

“How to Make Your Mind Up: Your daily creative dose of decision making mojo”

Pitch:

“Helping passionate creative professional women define their passion, purpose and possibilities in life to be able to make the decisions that really matter, create positive change in the world, and move forward to a more fulfilling future. Using a blend of big business best practice, ‘real’ world common sense, and a mass of creative art, craft and intrepid adventure. Together we can pioneer the lives of our wildest dreams!.”

What’s your biggest obstacle?

Photo by Adam Henning

I’m totally looking forward to a teleseminar with a new friend next week. Alicia Pierre is running an awesome teleseminar on the topic of obstacles that we face in getting our businesses started.

I’ve faced/am facing my fair share of obstacles and I’m working through them/conquering them with varying degrees of success.

It got me thinking about how many of the challenges that we face in life are the same no matter who we are or where we’ve come from, or in fact where we are trying to get to. And similarly what the biggest challenge that we all face in life is?

I think the biggest challenge that we all face on a daily basis is of course not knowing or remembering that we have a choice and that we can make a new one in an instant. Or worse still, when we do remember, not knowing how to make our mind up, or take action on the things we do eventually decide to focus on.

Because we all tend to lack so much of the self awareness and self understanding that gives us the clarity and faith in who we are, and what we want in life we struggle to be truly happy and fulfilled. We chase the things we think we SHOULD be, do and have rather than stopping to decide on our own definition of success and directing all of our passion and potential to striving for that.

Heres hoping that by sharing our challenges and combining our shared wisdom we can support and empower each other to overcome any obstacles we’re struggling with.

What do you think? Whats the biggest challenge you face on a daily basis? Why not come and join us here – http://www.aliciapierre.com/ on Wednesday and share the obstacles and challenges you’re facing. It’s totally free and everybody is welcome.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and comments below.

Always.
Zoe x