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Day 3 – 30DBBB: Who do you turn to?

Sitting here this afternoon enjoying a late Sunday brunch and some quiet time to myself I began looking at what I really needed to give myself a boost in moving my business stuff along at a more rapid pace.

I asked myself the question – ‘Who in an ideal world would I really like to work with to get all of my ducks in a row?’ so to speak. And not so surprisingly (if you’ve ever seen my twitter follow list) but my list came out as follows:

Jennifer Louden – for self care, coaching and purpose work.

Lea Woodward – for making my dreams of location independent living and adventure come true.

Anahata Katkin – for inspiring in me more of my creative sprirt and drawing out my souls representation in my art work

and Lisa Sasevich & Suzanne Falter-Barnes for some ass kicking business guidance.

Now I know that it might already seem like an amazing wish list of muses to want to work with but something was niggling inside, bugging me, telling me there was something missing.

So I sat a little while, I sifted through my notes a little. I even resorted to consulting the sectors that I usually include on my wheel of life. And then it dawned on me as I sat staring into space towards this little still life on my kitchen counter.

Health and Beauty. I don’t really have any one source of inspiration, expertise or guidance that I consult on a regular basis to do with two things that are actually quite important to me – my nutritional health and fitness, and my physical style and appearance.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not at all vain in any sense of the word, but I was raised to take a certain level of pride in my appearance, and that if i looked after my body then it would look after me. And over the years this has deepened to incorporate a personal desire to have my choices in those areas be a more authentic reflection of my personality.

The thing is because I’ve always been everybody elses go-to-girl, usually the one with all the ideas and possible answers I’ve never really put that role into reverse. I haven’t ever really been one to phone a friend for guidance or advice. I’ve always been quite independent in that sense. And I don’t have any particular celebrity style icon in mind. I tend to make up my mind about what I want and why, go ahead and research the options, judge their merits and usefulness based on my own situation and gone ahead and figured out the best choice for me pretty much by myself.

But I’ve realised that sometimes I do need help too. So I’m hoping in the spirit of sharing resources that you might have some ‘best kept secret’ or health and fitness, and style gurus you might be able to recommend. And in the meantime I’m off to see what I can find somewhere outside of my own head.

I’m looking forward to some fab recommendations in the comments below so please be generous with your opinions and advice – asking others for help is a skill I really need to improve on. I’ll share what else I find there too.

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Day 2 – 30DBBB: 7 Reasons why you can’t make your mind up!

Have you ever wondered why we struggle to decide even about the little things?

Why asking your other half what he wants for dinner can turn into mission impossible, and why no matter how much we want something in life we just can’t seem to get from knowing what to do to get it, to actually taking the necessary action?

So why can’t we make our minds up?

From my research and talking to friends, colleagues, and like minded souls it seems there are several usual suspects, or common decision making demons:

1. We’ve got too many options:

And they aren’t all clean cut either. We’ve got a million more choices than our ancestors ever had and as a result we’re much less happy, and completely overwhelmed.

The decision between a new job with a huge hike in salary, a private pension and access to the company car vs one which has a reasonable salary a four day week and access to an on-site nursery may not be quite as straight forward as we’d initially think. There are so many more factors to take into consideration these days. And of course living in the relative luxury we do in the western world we’re quite literally spoiled for choice.

This of course means that the old hat tips and tricks of pro/con lists and flipping a coin just aren’t cutting it anymore.

2. We want it all or nothing:

We were raised to believe we could have it all and to take no prisoners in our pursuit to get it. As a consequence compromise has become a four letter word.

Why have we become so adverse to settling? And trust me I mean settling in the most positive sense. Finding peace and contentment with what we know to be right for us in our lives can never be a bad thing. And simply knowing when enough is good enough can be a giant leap forward in finding lasting satisfaction in life.

3. We don’t know how to prioritise our own needs:

We struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first. We’ve been bought up to consider it to be self centred and self serving but in reality this belief in fact leaves us less able and less effective in helping both ourselves and others.

Remember the aeroplane safety spiel you get before a flight, about placing your own oxygen mask BEFORE attempting to help anyone else? Well I’m thinking those guys have quite possibly got exactly the right idea!

It’s not in the slightest bit selfish to make a choice that directly benefits you if in the long term it ultimately benefits others too.

4. We’re scared of the consequences:

Whether it be the negative implications, or possibly and more often surprisingly so the positive ones, one of my all time favourite quotes by Marianne Williamson and used by Nelson Mandela illustrates my point much more eloquently than I ever could.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, but our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

5. We’re trying to do too much:

To do too much, to be too much for everyone and anyone when in reality we each have a unique and singular purpose in life and the more we focus on fulfilling that the happier we will all be.

Pareto’s Principle/the 80/20 rule states that 80% of our most valuable output comes from just 20% of our input. So what’s your 20%?

6. We don’t know how to ask for help:

As everybody else’s go to girl, cheering squad, accountability expert and agony aunt we’ve got so used to doing these things for everyone else that we’ve forgotten to take our turn and reap the same rewards.

7. We’ve got tunnel vision:

Seeing things from someone else’s perspective can be immensely enlightening and lead us to answers we would never had considered on our own.

As Einstein once said – “You can’t solve a problem on the same level at which it was created” Or in other words you’ve got less chance of finding a solution to a problem with the same mind that created it.

The point is to recognise your own favourite decision making delay, accept it for what it is, and find ways to take action in overcoming it.

Don’t make the mistake of dismissing the impact your own potential can have if only you were to let it – we are all more capable of greatness than we will ever know. And now is the time to pursue it!

Why not aim over the next week to notice your own decision making demons, and consider ways to push past procrastination paralysis and move forward to a more fulfilling future.And check back here later on in the week for some of my own hints and tips on how you can do that.

– What have you found to be your usual decision making delays? Have you found the magic wand to making your mind up with clarity, consistency and congruency? – I’d love to hear how your own meaningful decisions happen. Please comment below, get in touch at zoeg@chinurucoaching.com, follow me on Twitter @zoegoode, or friend me on Facebook.

Day 1 – 30 Days to Build A Better Blog

Well I’m playing catch up a little but I’m not going to let that stop me, so here goes!

The challenge for Day 1 of the 31Days to Build a Better Blog challenge is to write my elevator pitch.

A simple and succinct statement capable of conveying the core of what my business is all about, what it does and how it can help you if you’re a prospective client. Not much of a tall order right?

This is something I’ve struggled with on and off with for a while now, but I think I may well have cracked it lately.

My business platform is going to be based on what I’ve found from my research to be one of the biggest problems facing my target market right now – not knowing how to make your mind up, and finding the courage to get moving to doing the things that truly make your heart sing.

So here’s the latest draft I’m working with at the moment. Please feel free to let me know your first thoughts and impressions below. I’d really love to know what you think!!

Tag line:

“How to Make Your Mind Up: Your daily creative dose of decision making mojo”

Pitch:

“Helping passionate creative professional women define their passion, purpose and possibilities in life to be able to make the decisions that really matter, create positive change in the world, and move forward to a more fulfilling future. Using a blend of big business best practice, ‘real’ world common sense, and a mass of creative art, craft and intrepid adventure. Together we can pioneer the lives of our wildest dreams!.”

The Final Countdown!!

Ok so its no big deal or anything but I realised yesterday was officially the start of my birthday month and we had slipped quietly and unceremoniously (well I say quietly when what I really mean is rather raucously and with amazing amounts of laughter thanks to the newlywed Mr & Mrs Lynch!) into The Final Countdown to my 30th birthday!!

30 days till I turn 30, and I’m officially old! Hee hee!!

It seems a bit weird to be honest. Like the end of an era and strangely serendipitous that it coincides with me making moves to pursue my purpose, and working to launch my lifestyle design practice by participating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge with Michelle Scism and Michelle Shaeffer, and the 31 Days To Build a Better Blog with Problogger.

So over the next month I’m going to be posting hopefully on  daily basis and sharing my journey. I hope to connect with great new friends and keep up with old ones. To form new and promising business partnerships and be inspired by numerous like minded souls.

If you want to get in on the action and build a better blog for yourself or your business check them out at http://www.ultimateblogchallenge.com and http://www.problogger.net.

Looking forward to a fantastic month.

Always,

Zoe x

What’s your biggest obstacle?

Photo by Adam Henning

I’m totally looking forward to a teleseminar with a new friend next week. Alicia Pierre is running an awesome teleseminar on the topic of obstacles that we face in getting our businesses started.

I’ve faced/am facing my fair share of obstacles and I’m working through them/conquering them with varying degrees of success.

It got me thinking about how many of the challenges that we face in life are the same no matter who we are or where we’ve come from, or in fact where we are trying to get to. And similarly what the biggest challenge that we all face in life is?

I think the biggest challenge that we all face on a daily basis is of course not knowing or remembering that we have a choice and that we can make a new one in an instant. Or worse still, when we do remember, not knowing how to make our mind up, or take action on the things we do eventually decide to focus on.

Because we all tend to lack so much of the self awareness and self understanding that gives us the clarity and faith in who we are, and what we want in life we struggle to be truly happy and fulfilled. We chase the things we think we SHOULD be, do and have rather than stopping to decide on our own definition of success and directing all of our passion and potential to striving for that.

Heres hoping that by sharing our challenges and combining our shared wisdom we can support and empower each other to overcome any obstacles we’re struggling with.

What do you think? Whats the biggest challenge you face on a daily basis? Why not come and join us here – http://www.aliciapierre.com/ on Wednesday and share the obstacles and challenges you’re facing. It’s totally free and everybody is welcome.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and comments below.

Always.
Zoe x

Journal Spilling – Back to the basics of being

No one ever really taught me how to just be myself. And of course they definitely never taught me how to know who or what ‘myself’ was in the first place.

So how was I ever supposed to be successful at being anything anyone else wants or needs me to be in my lifetime if I’m not yet entirely sure on how to be good at the simple basics of being?

6 life lessons I’ve learned from a kid I’ve never met.

Walking past the window in Waterstones this afternoon, a crowd gathering in the street below caught my eye.

Curious as ever to see what was going on I stopped for a second to see what they were all looking at. Half expecting it to be the usual crazy guy on his soap box shouting out his sermon on a Saturday afternoon. I was pleasantly surprised to see that in fact it was a little boy, probably only about ten or so showing off his ball skills.

Now although he wasn’t exactly fantastic and unlikely to be wining any awards this kid made me realise some lessons in life that we would all do well to remember:

1. Always take the opportunity to share your skills and talents with the world: This kid knew what he was good at and didn’t waste time going public with it. He saw a window of opportunity, as unusual as it may have been and he took it.

2. Be brave and have faith in leveraging your talents, you never know what you might achieve: As kids we are seemingly fearless and believe that we can truly achieve anything we want to. The only limits are our imaginations. Unfortunately life has a way of beating that out of us as we grow up, teaching us that showing off is not something people in polite society do. But maybe we should take the opinion of “If you’ve got it, flaunt it!” and capitalise whilst we can. We never know when we might get the chance again.

3. Don’t worry about doing it wrong: They say it takes something like 10,000 hours to become an expert in your chosen field. It’s also well known that the only way we really learn is from our failures. And of course there really is no way to do being you in the wrong way.

4. People will always appreciate your sincere efforts to improve their day: Even though the little lad had his impromptu performance cut short people were already enjoying the light relief of what might have otherwise been a Saturday afternoon like any other. In return for which they were more than happy to give donations. Even after he was made to stop, they were purposely making an effort to reward his efforts. I think that  just goes to show that even the smallest attempt to make someone smile can have an immeasurable impact. And I bet there were plenty of the audience who went on to tell their friends about it later, spreading the enjoyment that little bit farther.

5. Remember to say thank you and show your appreciation: I also loved that instead of taking the easy option and running off when he was told off by the warden. The kid actually took the time to say thank you to his audience and showed his appreciation by taking a bow.

6. Know when to let go: Finally, and one of the things I liked the most was that the kid knew when he was beaten. Instead of arguing with the warden he simply apologised, packed up the show and moved on. Its a shame we don’t all take that same tack sometimes.

Take a quick look at the video clip I managed to get before he was ushered away by the authorities. (Sorry about it being on its side though I was kinda caught on the fly!). People even started to boo the guy who told him to stop. I thought the whole thing was fantastic.

Lets hope he does something cool with his donations. : )